My job, (linked to the family) is both...a comfort; &, A STRESS! There's just not enough, I can do...OR, even want to for that matter. My house is still in utter CHAOS! *I AM HAPPY, I will be seeing some old friends soon. *Although this IS a comfort of many magnitudes; it is also another sense of stress. I do not FEEL bad that I haven't had the time really, OR the energy/motivation...to focus on me...*But THIS, seems to be the "THEME" of my life. "With EVEN the "thought" of happiness, comes the pain. *I KNOW, I HAVE plenty, to BE thankful for...but, there ALWAYS seems to be just as MUCH...if not MORE negatives. I WAS suppose to have had the time/peace, to be able to begin my path to a happier/healthier me. *Mom, was "supposed" to be on her way to a "better life," AS WELL... :/ :(
I know, just get your head on straight, &...MAKE time. "Easier said, than done..." *I know, IF I did...I WOULD feel BETTER. But, right now, (as usual) it's all I can do, to (do what NEEDS to be done) get through A DAY! :/ *Can't sleep; BUT, "always" TIRED... Maybe, in a couple months things will have shifted...?!? (More positively?!?) Lord willing!
I can't pretend to know what you are going through, but my advice is not to try and guess when you are ready, but to let it happen when it's right for you. You do have the world on your shoulders right now, but you will have your time. What you do for your parents is a necessity, but once she gets better, you will have time. There is a lot of negative energy around you right now, bad luck and such, but you can use your mom's journey to inspire you to get healthy and strong. Your time will come, don't ever doubt it! You're right, there will always be something trying to stand in your way, that is your test, to see what you are made of. Some days you will be stronger than the test, and sometimes the test will be stronger than what you've got inside, take it day by day and do what is right for each day.
ReplyDelete